before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
