Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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