is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
