She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
