so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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