yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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