are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Someone shit on the floor
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
porn star boner night. come get it.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
