I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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