You're a womanizer and a bitch.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
