Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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