My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
