If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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