Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
