a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
