There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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