Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
