i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
