Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
