wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
