She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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