And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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