if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
