and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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