i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
