No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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