Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
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