it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
