Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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