Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize