I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
