this just has baby written all over it
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
