Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
