May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
