i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
she looked like the before picture.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
