So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
