Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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