Buhtt sex?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
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hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
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He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
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