Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(417): View more from Missouri

He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.

(417): View more from Missouri

He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.

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(417): He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets. (417): He's like the Bob Ross of love stains. http://tfl.nu/ts5r

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(708): View more from Illinois

she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.

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(708): she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween. http://tfl.nu/3m71

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(864): View more from South Carolina

i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own

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(864): i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own http://tfl.nu/koat

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.

(703): View more from Virginia

mine is 'the'.

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(202): so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'. (703): mine is 'the'. http://tfl.nu/v1g1

Replies (32) Good night (8926) Bad night (691)
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(410): View more from Maryland

i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"

(913): View more from Kansas

did you yell "are you not entertained?"

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(410): i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude" (913): did you yell "are you not entertained?" http://tfl.nu/qa0j

Replies (21) Good night (6832) Bad night (687)
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(773): View more from Illinois

why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?

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(773): why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"? http://tfl.nu/okve

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(631): View more from New York

i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth

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(631): i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth http://tfl.nu/bjm9

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(705): View more from Ontario

She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.

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(705): She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air. http://tfl.nu/d5pp

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(415): View more from California

I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?

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(415): I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number? http://tfl.nu/po3x

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(757): View more from Virginia

I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.

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(757): I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you. http://tfl.nu/6wwz

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(523): View more from

Hey did where's my bong?

(1-523): View more from

In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right

(523): View more from

Should I bother to ask?

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(523): Hey did where's my bong? (1-523): In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right (523): Should I bother to ask? http://tfl.nu/hj27

Replies (8) Good night (2894) Bad night (834)
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(573): View more from Missouri

It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video

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(573): It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video http://tfl.nu/x1wo

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(616): View more from Michigan

i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them

(1-616): View more from Michigan

its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you

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(616): i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them (1-616): its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you http://tfl.nu/jk07

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.

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(908): Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila. http://tfl.nu/habz

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(931): View more from Tennessee

Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes

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(931): Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes http://tfl.nu/7hsu

Replies (2) Good night (626) Bad night (182)

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