Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
