Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia