Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat