I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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