I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
