I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
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bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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