Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
