Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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