Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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