The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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