We won't sleep together?
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize