May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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