Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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