she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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