mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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