i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
