If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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