You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
i believe in u and ur pee
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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