so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
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found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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