What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
