return my video game
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
operation have a gay friend backfired
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
