oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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