Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
