I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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