She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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