your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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