At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize